Wednesday, February 26, 2025 -California’s water managers have come up with yet another genius plan to save us all: stop boats from moving between O’Neill Forebay and San Luis Reservoir for eight days. Why? Because of the newly discovered Chinese golden mussel, an invasive species that’s now calling O’Neill Forebay home.
Never mind that O’Neill Forebay and San Luis Reservoir are literally connected and that every drop of water in the lake comes from the Forebay. No, the real problem—according to the experts—is boaters. Clearly, the mussels aren’t spreading via the massive water flow between the two, but rather by some poor fisherman’s trolling motor. The only thing missing from this master plan is a big sign reading, “Mussels, please stay put. No unauthorized spreading allowed. Maintain 500 yards away from boats. ”
For context, golden mussels were first discovered in North America in October 2024 at the Port of Stockton and O’Neill Forebay in Merced County. Like most invasive species, they arrived through international shipping. Once here, they did what invasive species do best—spread. And in case you didn’t know, the California Delta is already one of the most invaded estuaries in the world, with at least 185 foreign species taking up residence. At this point, the Delta is less of a natural ecosystem and more of an international hostel for every plant, fish, and mollusk looking to hitch a ride.
But now, number 186 has arrived—the dreaded golden mussel. Will this one be the final boss that takes over all others? Will it clog every pump, destroy our water infrastructure, and send California into a dystopian nightmare of dry faucets and broken irrigation? That’s the fear, at least. And to combat this inevitable doom, the state’s plan is to “quarantine” boats for eight days—because, apparently, any lingering water droplets will dry up in that time, killing off the mussel larvae before they hitch a ride to the reservoir.
Now, I only took a couple years of marine biology classes, but I do have a working understanding of how water works as a Dentist. And last I checked, San Luis Reservoir is filled exclusively with water from O’Neill Forebay. That means mussel larvae don’t need a boat ride when they have a direct pipeline into their new home.
So why the boat restrictions? Maybe it makes the bureaucrats feel like they’re doing something. Maybe they think mussels have a code of honor that prevents them from traveling through pipes, but not on boat hulls. Whatever the case, this rule is about as effective as mandating masks to prevent the spread of Covid.
Meanwhile, the mussels are laughing in bivalve as they spread through the Delta, the aqueducts, and beyond. The truth is, if golden mussels want to take over, they will—with or without your boat. So let’s just be honest: the eight-day boat quarantine isn’t stopping anything. It’s just another example of California’s unique talent for making rules that sound smart but accomplish absolutely nothing.
Finally, I would love to see the budget they used to set up this three color banding system and Boat CF number database. Are they selling our data? And check out the cute banners. They will certainly keep the mussels from spreading. Recent federal workforce reductions from DOGE have significantly impacted California’s Parks and Recreation staff, particularly within the National Park Service (NPS). Nationwide, approximately 1,000 NPS employees have been laid off, with California’s parks experiencing notable effects.
Wow, wonder how much it costs.
